Month: January 2012

  • From Mrs. Jetlag Crazy-Pants

    Last night I was jet lagged and sad. So sad, in fact, that this is what I wrote:

    Pieces of me are all over the world.

    Right now my life feels like a

    messed up,

    screwed up,

    piece of travel warped craziness.

    32 hours.

    5 Airports.

    A frozen tundra when we enter,

    a tropical heatwave when we exit.

    A DIFFERENT WORLD.

    How can I live so far

    from so many I love?

    When did I get used to

    NOT

    having them around?

    THEY

    are the

    ones

    who

    have been through the most…

    THE LEAVING.

    I’VE put an ACTUAL (insanely large) distance

    in miles

    in kilometers

    in oceans

    between my children

    and

    the people

    who

    love

    them

    MOST

    in this world

    (aside from us).

    We made a choice for a different life…

    but I miss them.

    There is no more audience for my kids.

    They change and grow without much external fanfare…

    aside from our claps.

    Which seem feeble

    when compared to grandparent claps.

    And sometimes,

    at 3am,

    when I have jet lag…

    I wonder if it was the right choice.

    Why do we put ourselves through it?

    Can I handle another night of tears?

    Tears from all of us.

    Tears for grandparents,

    cousins,

    uncles,

    and several awesome aunties in South Africa.

    Is it right?

    Is it wrong?

    Or is it just what it is.

    And then, after some sleep, I looked at the images above and I remembered. Life is not all about me. It’s about the things we believe in. The CHOICES we make to fulfill those beliefs. The ONE above that I have surrendered to, and the JOURNEY that we are on. A journey with a people we don’t yet understand. And you know what? Even though we don’t understand Burundians yet… I bet they will end up teaching us a whole lot more than we teach them.

    Holding onto hope,

    Kristy

    All images

    Hasselblad 501C

    Fuji 400/Portra 400

  • Neo on film.

    We are back in Burundi (holy-moly-jet-lag-Batman!) and I have been nervous and excited about sharing these film images with you. We are finally back online, my husband BOUGHT ME A DESK (that’s a huge deal, as I was doing all my blogging, editing, writing, etc. from the couch or the bed or the table), and our “biggest little” is back in school.

    So many photographers are doing it these days. Snapping up a film camera and giving it a go. It is a way to differentiate yourself from the crowd of photographers, to make yourself feel more authentic in the age of  the “self taught” digital photographers crowding the marketplace. Many people also do it because of the amazing success a handful of photographers have had with film (Jose Villa, Jonathan Canlas, Ryan Muirhead, Elizabeth Messina to name just a few). Do mine look anything like theirs? Nope, not at all… but that really wasn’t the point for me.

    Why did I choose to start shooting film? Definitely to feel more authentic. To feel more connected with the art form that I am in love with. To go deeper with it. To understand light in a new way. Truth be told, I was getting a bit bored with digital. Being in Burundi, away from my newly established photography business, I was feeling the need to stretch my legs a bit.

    I will probably ALWAYS shoot digital, especially while we are in Burundi with no processing labs for film nearby. I owe a whole lot to digital. Would I have become a photographer if digital wasn’t accessible and fairly easy to teach myself? Pretty sure the answer is no. Have I begun a love affair with film that won’t end any time soon? You bet-cha! Do I have a million and one things to learn about film? For sure. Do I have a million and one things to learn about digital? Maybe just a million.

    Film is teaching me some great things. It’s teaching me how to slow down. How to take risks (with the high cost of buying and processing medium format film, every frame is a risk!). The challenge of learning something new is ridiculously frustrating and exciting all at once. When I processed my last batch of film, three rolls came back empty. Sometimes learning the hard way is the only way, right?

    All Hasselblad 501C

    Fuji 400

    What are you learning this year?

    I wanna know!

    Kristy

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