Ziplocs in action.
It is a gargantuan task to get our family out the door, to the airport, past security, onto the plane, into a seat that is actually ours, and through the flights (there are ALWAYS more than one). Over the years I’ve tried IT ALL on long flights, and here’s what works for our family.
1) It’s Ziploc time!
If you don’t live in a country where you have access to lovely little pre-packaged snacks, get out the Ziplocs and divvy up whatever snacks you have available. Always equally, and always with the same appearance, to avoid airplane sibling rivalry at all costs. The last thing you need is a huge fight on the plane because someone has more pretzels than someone else.
Often I will have 20 (yeah, TWENTY!) Ziplocs in my bag that contain MORE THAN JUST SNACKS.
My advice? Hit the dollar store and buy matching cheap, toss-abe, and NOISELESS stuff. Matching Ziplocs with an activity inside (a crayon and one piece of paper, a sewing project, a sticker book, etc). Matching Ziplocs with one new toy car or small doll. Matching Ziplocs with a new wallet pre-loaded with fake currency and credit cards. Matching Ziplocs with a snack and a prize. IF you are extra crafty you can even wrap these things up as presents to be unwrapped on the flight.
Save the used Ziplocs to use throughout the journey… trust me, you will find a way to use them!
2) Keep them entertained without killing yourself.
If you are on a long international flight, there is a high likelihood that there is an in-flight entertainment system. When we are really on top of things, we call ahead or go online to check what they will have available for play.
On our recent flights Delta, for example, had little to no age appropriate kids programs on their system yet KLM and SAA were loaded with lovely kiddie goodies.
If you have an iPad, a computer, or a smart phone make sure it is fully charged and pre-load it with some NEW kids stuff that they haven’t already seen.
For the kids that don’t care about an in flight entertainment system (aka the 3 and unders), you have your work cut out for you. We have found that the best toys we could find for this age are already on the plane. Cups, spoons, water bottles, other passengers (be gentle), stewards (again, gentle)… these all make great toys that hold attention for about as long as anything you would have packed. Save on space, and use what you’ve got in front of you. Take walks, get to know one steward/ess by name that is sympathetic to the plight of parenthood and can help you through the flight.
3) Pack one carry on that the kids can have full reign of.
This should NOT be the bag your ziploc stash is in.
We have found that our kids think their own backpacks are boring but THEY LOVE riffling though our bags. Having a kid bag (that they think is your bag) keeps them from tearing apart your “real” bag… and the airplane.
Our two year old spent an hour just riffling through “the kid bag” on our last long flight. If you don’t have to be concerned about what they are “getting into” and can instead close your eyes for a minute or just breathe a little easier, it’s worth it to pack all the things you don’t mind them getting into in one bag. Things to pack in the kid bag:
A travel Etch-a-Sketch
Paper
Crayons
Coloring book
Silly Putty
Glow Sticks
Things that you have to pack anyway but you don’t mind them “getting into”: a change of clothes for them, extra diapers, etc.
4) Make tough goodbyes easier, turn the flight into one big adventure.
If you are an international family who has to say tough goodbyes, firstly… you have my heart. I UNDERSTAND. I know the pain and the exhaustion of watching your children cry their eyes out over grandparents, and cousins and friends.
I SALUTE you for making such brave choices for your family. THIS lifestyle of ours is a CHALLENGE but there are also so many REWARDS.
To ease the tough goodbyes, we talk about the JOURNEY as an ADVENTURE for days in advance. We refer to it as a big airplane adventure with endless TV and lots of fun stops. We tell them that they are part of an elite airplane club and that hardly ANY kids in the world get to fly as much as they do. Thinking of the trip as an adventure will help YOU relax a bit too!
This is where it pays off to know your airports. There is something you can make a part of the adventure at every airport (even Nairobi… the WORST airport on the planet!). Amsterdam, for instance, is THE BEST AIRPORT ON THE PLANET for kids. They have TVs playing cartoons, an indoor playground, a cool Dutch library, iPads full up with Dutch cultural tidbits, hotel rooms in the airport (for a price), and a free BABY SLEEP ROOM.
Baby sleep room, Amsterdam
5) Do what you believe will allow your family to arrive as rested as possible.
Many who talk to me know that I am not opposed in the least to giving my kids a dose of children’s medicine with a drowsy component in it so that they can sleep. I am sure there are MANY people in the world who would disagree with this method of getting through a long flight, but for our family it works. When my family is faced with OVER 40 HOURS in transit on an uncomfortable airplane it is best FOR EVERYONE if my kids can wind down and sleep! Often our kids can not wind down naturally because airplanes are loud, uncomfortable, bright, exciting, etc. I would never endorse giving kids perscription drugs that are for you or adult doses or any craziness like that, but something that allows them to sleep will help both you and them… as well as the people sitting next to you. Of course, CHECK THIS WITH YOUR DOCTOR. Our doctors have often perscribed something for the flight that is MUCH heavier than we are comfortable using. Follow your gut, talk to your doctor, don’t do anything silly, and test whatever you would like to use out before you go while you are ON THE GROUND.
If you are uncomfortable giving your kids anything (and even if you do), try using the complimentary blanket as a tent and doing your bed-time routine under it.
6) Ask for special treatment… nicely.
If you have kids under five, and if one of them is a baby, chances are you will get this anyway. Ask while you are checking in if there are any extra seats on the flight and if it’s possible to have a few extra seats next to one another so that the kids can stretch out.
BEWARE of bulkhead seating!
It is great if you have a small baby, but once your baby no longer fits into the bassinet, it is somewhat cumbersome. The arm rests in bulkhead usually don’t go up and down (read: your kids will not be able to stretch out) because they house the entertainment systems and the tray tables.
Lastly,
Have GRACE with yourself and your kids.
If you are changing time zones AND ARE RETURNING TO YOUR HOME (away from grandparents and friends) jet-lag will be harder. Plan time in to your schedule to account for jet-lag, otherwise you will be in deep doo-doo. It is important, especially if you are an international family, to give you kids plenty of love and hugs and to LISTEN to how they are feeling.
2 am jet-lagging.
Returns can be tough on everybody. Not only are you experiencing jet-lag, but you and your kids might be grieving. Give yourselves grace and space to deal authentically with what you are going through. When I was telling someone recently about how tough a time our kids were having adjusting back to life in Burundi, their response was, “Well, sure… it’s like leaving Disney World!” In a way that’s true. They went from spending time with family, experiencing Christmas in America, being out of school, etc. back to a life with just mom and dad and school and French.
Draw pictures together and TALK about them, tell stories about the people they miss, CALL the people they miss, STAY CONNECTED however you can.
I hope this helps you on your journey. Bon voyage, mon amis!
